Already Thirty...

There is a Chinese saying Nan Ren San Shi Er Li - “Men start to establish at the age of thirty”. Should I establish my career? Set a great ambition? Unlike the ancient China people, I can NEVER “Li Guo Zhi Tian Xia” (establish my country and rule the world) in Singapore.

Sincerely, I don’t know what more should I “establish”? Are there more things that I want to accomplish in my life? Maybe I should throw myself another challenge at the age of thirty? An iron man race sounds good, desert race is cool. Doing three mountains above 6000m within a season would be equally challenging.

A friend told me she wants to marry at the age of thirty! How can one plan and execute a marriage within a year? I was blown away when she told me the things she did. She is brave to be so truthful. The focus she had for getting married was tremendous. She had gone beyond my ability to stay focus when I was doing my Ranger Course.

Maybe I should think of marrying? I think getting married is tougher than doing combined iron man race, desert race and the mountain trip. It was not as if I never thought of settling down. But there must be a good reason to marry. I must meet the lady, and the lady must be convinced I am the man for her. It is tough for me to like someone whole-heartedly. I know by allowing myself to love someone, I am allowing that person to leave behind a foot print on my heart. I must admit, deep down inside. I can be super arrogant to love and too easy to give up. I would stubbornly leave the person I like if she is convinced she can find her “happyness” elsewhere.

Marriage aside, I was shocked that there are folks who can’t wait to tell me how happy they would be when I turn thirty years old. I can’t remember how many birthday “mocking” I had before and on the 10 Sep. I laugh over many of them, they are good reminders of what I have been treating these monkeys.

Among all greetings there is a special one. It would always be a special one. A friend wrote me a poem! I was super impressed, and read it a few times. Writing a poem is something beyond me in a million years. She wrote it remembering little things I did, saved the file on 10Sep, and sent it within the first hour of my birthday. Superb effort!

Apart from all the greetings, there were happy celebration moments with the three ladies, plus Michael and Alan at Vivo City. Linda Tan was nice to get a green tea cake. Well… I seldom have cake on my birthday.

My S.W.E.E.T (She Would Enjoy Entertaining “Teman*”) colleague, Ivy Ngiam, also organised a little gathering after SAFRA Adventure Race for me. Sadly, Joanne was not around. Nonetheless, I am glad to have Catherine, Kee Leng, Jack, Thiam Huat, Karen, Nicholas and Linda Tay. I had a cake again! I don’t know how Ivy did it… she got Kee Leng to get a very very big Tiramisu cake after their shape run. To empathise how big the cake was, we could not even finish half of it.

I had dinner with Dr Tan on my actual birthday. I was pretty looking forward to it. Sadly, she wasn’t in the best of her mood. I believe everyone does not like to be confronted. She had a bad day. It was the night that she “rain deep inside”. She said she is sorry. I thought that is fine… During Army days, I hate it when my sergeant wanted to inspect my weapon. To me, weapon is a sacred item. I would keep it operational ready. The sergeant doubted my pride for my weapon when he attempted to inspect it. Everyone has a personal “thin red line” when come to pride. Dr Tan probably felt the pride for work was challenged, when her boss asked her for a closed-door session.

After dinner, I was with Eric working night shift at a production plant near Redhill. The operators working on my line are largely from Southern Province of China. These people work diligently everyday. The only thing they look forward to is the monthly paycheck. After collecting the paycheck for 24times, they would see the passport which the company took away from them on Day 1. They can choose to reset the counter or go back to home after 24months. It can be a little sad looking at them. We speak similar Chinese; the only difference is… my grandpa arrived on Singapore 60years earlier.

518400 seconds is deposited into everyone account everyday. It is up to individual how they want to spend their precious time. I got to really THINK. It has been thirty good years. I had accomplished most of the things I aimed for. By doing that, I gained quite a lot and lose some.

I need to access…

1. Will my little ego hinder the objectives I am fighting for?
2. Am I on the correct time and space?
3. What more can I accomplish, what are the price to pay?

It is important not to climb all mountains. I planned to expose myself to more uncomfortable conditions and more responsibilities selectively. After looking back at some incidents, I won’t allow FATE to control what I want to do. Like climbing mountain, I’d strategise and test how much “faster, further and harder” I can push.

*Teman aka Kawan means friends in Malay